Monday, May 26, 2008

What's In The Name

First off, I am required by my executive board to explain exactly what it is when I say that Rob hates babies. He doesn't really. He's extremely good with them and after ample experience, he can stave them off and keep them quiet and reasonably happy for hours at a time (better than I could if I couldn't nurse them, which is an unfair advantage). He just finds the newborn stage not so much fun. He thinks they're much more interesting when they can interact with other people. He wishes they'd be born at about four months old. I remind him that my babies are closer to four-month-olds than just about anyone's. And if we're shooting for honesty here, I loathe the age from about 18 months to 3 or so when my prime job is to socialize the kid. I think that all children should come with the Germ Theory of Disease in their bundled-from-Microsoft software; it creeps me out the way they want to caress toilets and lick garbage cans and the like.
As for the name, we chose Josiah as a less common biblical name. He's in Deuteronomy I think, and he doesn't do anything spectactular (like Rob's cousin Heather says, it's good to keep the expectations low with bible names; I'm fond of Lazarus myself), but he doesn't do anything hideous either, which does set him apart somewhat in the Old Testament. Oscar is Rob's grandfather's name, and Rob didn't quite have the nerve to use it as a first name (though it is on the More Popular Than You Think list in our favorite baby book). And Joss is what Rob thought would be fun to use as a nickname; yes, we do know about the singer, and the creator of Firefly.
It is all moot though, because everyone has chosen their own nicknames. We have Jojo, Jed, J-dawg, J-bird, and now Rob has started calling him Fluffy. I don't know why I even consult him when picking out names! The other kids all had them too, and it took some time to grow out of them. They were Piglet, Chumpy-wumpy, and Spewbert, respectively.
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Tuesday, May 20, 2008

The Difference Between a First Child

and any others who come after is significant. Rob and I were talking about it last night as we left on our dinner date, which had just been crashed by Joss since he was in a foul mood. (We decided we'd rather take him with us and be serene than leave him at home and feel like we needed to rush back and relieve everyone.)

We were just remarking that when Maddie had screamed, we were certain that we had done something wrong (buckled her incorrectly in the car seat, put her clothes on backwards, given her a mild case of SIDS, etc.). Because of that, we took every scream as an advertisement of our bad parenting -- a complaint against us personally. By this child, we don't take anything he does personally.

A quote that my brother John sent me explains the difference perfectly, although this is talking about the meaning of East coast vs. West coast honking from Cory Doctorow's "Eastern Standard Tribe":
"This business of being an agent-provocateur was complicated in the extreme, though it had sounded like a good idea when he was living in San Francisco and hating every inch of the city from the alleged pizza to the ****ing! drivers!--in New York, the theory went, drivers used their horns by way of shouting "Ole!" as in "Ole! You changed lanes!" "Ole! You cut me off!" "Ole! You're driving on the sidewalk!"while in San Francisco, a honking horn meant, "I wish you were dead. Have a nice day. Dude."

So when Joss was born, Rob explained to the kids that his crying meant "Ole!" as in "Ole! Watch me pedal my feet!" "Ole! There's something in my diaper!" "Ole! I think that was my hand flying by!" and that they shouldn't worry about it. The way that we used to when Maddie would do it and we thought she meant "You two deadbeats are so completely incompetent that I might explode under the weight of my unmet needs."

Sometimes ignorance isn't so blissful.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Josiah Oscar McFarland

Look who came on Monday! I was induced, so I was guessing that this might happen. As was recently pointed out, when I was having Maddie, I didn't want any sort of drug or medical intervention at all, so the full-on embrace of induction was seen as somewhat hypocritical of me. All I can say is, if you have ever delivered a 10 lb, 10 oz baby naturally (Will), you might think about your options too! My OB practice is happy to schedule an induction for any subsequent pregnancies if you're doing well, and I thought I might get a smaller baby and go back to sleeping on my stomach a week or so earlier too. I was right on the first proposition, but I'm not sleeping yet.
I got hooked up to pitocin at around 9, but didn't really do much until around noon. I drove all the nurses crazy because the monitors lose the baby at the least wiggle from either of us. It was the same way with Sebastian, and I think I just don't transmit well. I got to more active labor around two (I'm guessing) and had an epidural, also like Sebastian. I decided to do this after watching too many TLC Baby Stories where the labouring woman was able to sit and calmly discuss the weather while having her baby. I've gotta say that I loved the epidurals, and Rob is amazed at the difference having me around for the delivery instead of a panting, bellowing, wild animal version of me. As Julie Smith said, "You don't hear anyone advocating natural dentistry -- why natural childbirth?"
I was mostly frustrated that this labor wasn't moving along at the brisk clip that Sebastian's did (in at 7:15, baby at 1:29), and that there wasn't anything better on TV. We watched some CNN, some Rachel Ray, a Frasier re-run . . . then I plowed through a People magazine and made Rob help me with the crossword. We got stuck with only three empty squares, so we called his friend Heather to ask her the name of Kevin on "Weeds". Probably anti-climactic for her since she knew we were being induced, but she played along and with the Puzzler behind us, I was able to get to transition.
Baby was born at 7:09 after only a few pushes. He squealed mightily, and then settled right down for the first hour. He was 9lbs, 9oz and 21 inches, so he is the shortest of all the babies, and only bigger than Maddie. After looking at him for a while, we decided on Josiah Oscar, and we'll call him Joss. We called the siblings and grandparents and let them come up and hold him and watch as he got his first workup in the nursery. He was not fond of having his armpits or neck folds washed, but loved having his hair scrubbed as here. Everyone was impressed that he didn't cry when he got his heel pricked (but I know it was false advertising). After Rob changed us from a wacko, jabbering, intrusive, obstreperous, brash night nurse, to the shift manager who was wonderful (yay Rob!) we had a pretty good night, which means that the light was off and we were all three horizontal and not crying -- not that we were sleeping.
We played patient very patiently on Tuesday, but then busted out just after dinner time to come home that night where no one wanted to poke us. So far Joss is a peach. He falls asleep if you pester him in the nursery, and he is a lackadaisical feeder, but I think we'll work those out with even a few more days. Rob keeps peeping and muttering about how he hates babies, but I remind him that just yesterday, night was day and upside down was right side up and water was air and air was water . . . and I think he's making a remarkable adjustment. I think we'll keep him, especially because of those cheeks!
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Saturday, May 03, 2008

Rob Turns The Big Four-Oh!

My honey turned 40 on Thursday. In honor of the milestone, I came up with 40 Things I Love About Rob. You, dear readers, can see an abridged version:

4. there is no housework he feels is beneath him
7. he is willing to come with me to Spanish Sunday School and even reads scriptures
14. he's willing and supportive of my vegetarian cooking
17. he is a charismatic and creative professor (see above)
19. Rob's a fabulous brainstormer -- Mr. Idea Man
22. whenever he is by water, he will get wet
24. he makes up original bedtime stories for the kids each night about Kyle and Pablo (last night's was about ex-Smokin' Roaches band member who had become a plumber and was guided to Monterey Dunes unit 194 when he heard the band's one hit "Miss Jennie Jones" (which Rob also wrote) being sung out back)
26. he has opinions on things from clothes to the house to crystal goblets
30. he takes care of himself so he can be there for his family
32. he won 4th place statewide identifying trees and shrubs of Utah at FFA in the 8th grade
36. he can throw pottery, make stained glass, and paint watercolor
40. he's my favorite person in the room