Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Anniversary Thirteen

This quote by Michael Chabon in Manhood for Amateurs explains his relationship with his wife, and was immediately familiar to me. It articulated our relationship so closely, though I am years from being able to put this into words:

"Not very long afterward, in an ongoing act of surrender to the world beyond my window, with no possibility of knowing what joy or disaster might result, I married her. And since that afternoon in Berkeley, California, standing along the deepest seam of the Hayward Fault -- no, since our first date -- this woman has dragged, nudged, coaxed, led, stirred, embroiled, mocked, seduced, finagled or carried me into every last instance of delight or sorrow, every debacle, every success, every brilliant call, and every terrible mistake, that I have known or made. I'm grateful for that, because if it were not for her, I would never go anywhere, never see anything, never meet anyone. It's too much bother. It's dangerous, hard work, or expensive. I lost my ticket. I kind of have a headache. They don't speak English there, it's too far away, they're closed for the day, they're full, they said we can't, it's too much bother with children along.
"She will have none of that. She is quick, mercurial, intemperate. She has a big mouth, a rash heart, a generous nature (always a liability, in my view), and if my way is always to opt out, to sit in the window seat with a book in my lap, pressing my face against the pane, then her great weakness, indistinguishable from her great strength, is a fatal, manic aptitude for saying yes. She gets herself, and us, and me, into trouble: into noble causes and silly disputes, into pregnancies and terminations, into journeys and strange hotel beds and awkward situations, into putting my money where my mouth is and my name on fund-raising pitch letters for the things that I believe in but otherwise, I don't know, haven't gotten around to yet."

He is the man that demands always my best self, my highest ideals, my continual progress; but adores me on an as-is basis.
Happy Anniversary, Love. It has been a breathtaking journey so far.


jenlinmin said...

I love that I am wiping tears from my cheeks because I SO relate to that passage too. Thanks for sharing and Happy Anniversary to a couple I've enjoyed idolizing for the last 12 years. Here's to many more...

Nedra said...

Brings back lots of good memories and confirms what someone said about your engagement picture--"They just go together, like salt and pepper shakers." That's still my favorite picture. What a handsome couple! What an especially beautiful dress!

Nedra said...

I meant the wedding picture and dress, not the engagement picture. Proves you should preview your comments.
Love, MOM